Day 162-- MY EYE!!

I haven't been over-the-top klutzy lately, which is amazing. Just my normal tripping and falling and spilling on myself. However, during a recent shower I had one of those moments. I went to get conditioner out of my handy Costco pump container. You know how sometimes the conditioner from the previous usage dries and forms a little clot? Well that must have happened big time because the conditioner did not shoot down into my hand. It did not shoot striaght forward, but it shot at a 45 degree angle across my face, passed my left eye and straight into my right eye. Ow, MY EYE! It hurt to say the least. And although my eye was all soft and conditioned, it took quite awhile to get the stuff out using water and a towel.

Looks like I'm back!

Day 62 - Coffee and Coughing

Today I was drinking my morning coffee while driving to work. At some point, I started coughing. Not sure what caused it ...a tickle in my throat or going down the wrong pipe maybe. But now matter how hard I tried to avoid it, I could not keep from spitting the coffee all over my car. Of course it had to be less than a week after I had my car detailed. When I tell the story, the consensus is, "Only you Melissa, only you..."

Day 49- A day at the Office

How do you almost maim yourself with a work badge, a desk drawer and a drawer key?

The answer is...SIMPLE - if you are me.

I keep my badge in a badge holder that has a long string. I wear it around my neck. Attached to my badge is a keychain with a light and the key to my desk drawers.

I lean down to to unlock my drawers. I pull a folder out of the bottom folder and look at it with my coworkers. We laugh, do some fist pumps, etc and then I put the folder away and shut the drawer. Then I turn to face my computer.

Oh wait...I never took the key out of the drawer and it still attached to me. When I turn I almost snap my neck! Thankfully the key broke off of the keychain and I got to live.

Thankfully it didn't hurt too bad so I started cracking up. Everyone looked at me in horror for awhile making sure I was really okay and with no internal bleeding.

Just a day in the life at work for me!

Day 32 - The Mail

This is what generally happens when I open the mail...

Day 30 - Freezer Burn

Did you know that you can really get burned by the freezer? No, I didn't get a burn from something in the freezer being too cold, but honestly, too hot. Something to do with the ice maker. Ugh. Only I could be burnt by the freezer.

And only I can be burnt by a hot pan even though I ATTEMPTED to use a pot holder. That was earlier this week.

And only I would have a special masseuse today. The power went out and Anna said, "Oh no, what should I do? I know where your back is because I'm touching it right now...but the rest? I don't know!" Don't you think a massage therapist should be pretty familiar with where body parts are? Apparently she was the only one who asked her client to reschedule...the rest just kept on going. Hope they didn't find a finger sticking out of an ankle or anything...

Day 28 - Ball vs. Chair

I am a county social worker, so my job is especially stressful. We've started a trend in our part of the office of using excercise balls instead of chairs for part of the day. This allows us to bounce on the ball during ridiculous phone calls that use to make me kick the filing cabinet when I was done. Now I just bounce. Very good for the stress level....but I'm not so sure it will be good for klutziness as I tend to do silly things like in this picture.

Who wants to bet how long it will take until I eat it - hard?

Day 23

Let's just say this is why I am scared to go to my parents' house. This is a NIGHTMARE for a klutz like me. Thankfully I only tripped a few times. Thankfully there was someone who fell more than I did this day....but he's only 5 years old....

And for those of you who are wondering...these are barricades set up to keep the puppy from going anywhere that has carpet.

Day 17

Today is going to be in list format...just to let you know.

So immediately after telling my sisters during our Easter get-together that I started a blog about being klutzy, the following things happened:

-I dropped my bowl of strawberries that I was getting ready to dip into a chocolate fountain
-I stabbed myself in the gums with a chocolate covered toothpick
-I dropped my bowl again, but this time it was empty (thankfully it was a paper bowl)
-I dropped a buttered roll onto my chest...TWICE

Thankfully I didn't do anything klutzy while holding my niece Sophie, who is less than three months old. At least there is hope for me being a mom some day and not actually dropping my child like I drop food.

Oh, and when I got home, I cut my finger on a can of cat food. Hopefully I'm done for the day.

Day 16

One of our cats dumped a cup of water onto my face in the middle of the night. That was a rude awakening. Water all of my face...and of course my pillow and the sheets so no matter what...I'm miserable for the rest of the night.

Read this site: http://www.catswhothrowupgrass.com/kill.php

I think they should add dumping water to it.

Day 8

Today's "moment" was NOT MY FAULT. I really don't know if a car accident can be considered as something that is "klutzy" but it happened nonetheless. I did did not like it one bit.

Actually, I'm very surprised that with all the klutz that I've got...I haven't had an accident before now. In the ten years that I have been driving, I have never struck anything with my car and amazingly nothing has struck me. No...no point in knocking on wood now because on Day 8 (march 25th), I was in my first car crash since I got my learner's permit.

Before I go in to the details, I have to admit that this is not my first accident ever. When I was 8 years old, my parents, my self and two of my siblings were involved in a hit and run accident. You wanna know who hit us and then ran? It was a police officer. Yup. A good old copper hit us, ran off, and had his buddies cover for him. Hey thanks man. I really enjoyed my double compound fracture in my left wrist. Plus having to sleep through the night with it in a splint before they set the break.

Tangent a little?

So last week my car accident. I pull into a left hand turn lane. Before I get to a full and complete stop, I'm jolted a bit and hear a horrible crunching sound. Someone tried to come into the left hand turn lane after I did. Apparently they didn't see me? I don't drive a smart car...

So we pulled over, exchanged info, blah blah blah. We are pretty nice to each other and he pretty much admits it was his fault. Well, when he has a tiny scratch on his headlight and both my passenger doors are crunched and my running board is hanging off...I don't think there's really any point in contesting.

After I call in my claim (which I later have to withdraw since it dawned on me after the fact that I was en route to Court for my job and had to go through the county's insurance) i start getting calls and text messages from the people who hit me. I get a text message from "Abie" who I think was the girlfriend sitting in the passenger seat. She was the owner of the car. Her message said "just tell me what it will cost to fix your car and I will pay it." I'm thinking...um...it's going to cost $5,000. You really would rather pay that then tell your insurance? And then I get a call from the driver. Abraham says, I'm really sorry but my girlfriend didn't pay her insurance and I'm really mad at her. So can I pay you instead. I asked him if he had insurance as driver. Nope.

Oh people!!! Don't drive without insurance! I told him "I'm sorry, but I could lose my job if I don't report this." Probably not true, but maybe? Plus, in order to get the claim paid through my job I had to file a police report and a report to the DMV. Oh Abraham and Abie-- last Thursday was not a good day for you.

Although I don't have to pay for it, it sure has been a hassle to get the claim worked out. I seriously have to have ELEVEN attachments to file the claim. Two estimates, photos, my itinerary for the day, my weekly timesheet, my mileage claim, a police report, two claim forms, the dmv report, my insurance, my registration, etc. It's like I have a part time job trying to get it all together.

Do you think that maybe when they fix the car they could add special cushions on the driver side door and the trunk? That would be great so it wouldn't hurt so much when I smack my head on them....

Day 4

In the excitement of getting my first smartphone, i smacked my head on the corner of the dining room table as i reached down to get my old phone out of my purse. ow

Day 2

Today was just a run of the mill klutzy day for me. I had some family over and when my little sister came upstairs holding all five kittens, I had to run over to her when one began to fall. Of course, with our floors, that meant sliding halfway across the kitchen--but I got there!

At dinner, my mom moves her hanging purse away from my sister kept knocking it off its hook -- only to have me knock it off its hook yet again. But I had warned her!

When getting refills, I splattered my self with soda when taking the lids off, and then dropped a straw when try to put the lids back on. Sigh.

The worst was when I couldn't find my keys and emptied out my entire purse....only to find them in my pocket --which I swear I had checked 3 times...

Day 1

I thought today I might NOT have a klutzy moment solely because I started a blog about it.

I thought wrong.

I'm driving home in the car after a lovely morning working out and doing some costco shopping. I'm about to pick at a scab at a red light, and realize that I will get in trouble by many people so I decide to put neosporin on it instead. Apparent;y the neosporin had been left in the car a little too long with the warmer weather. When I go to squirt a tiny drop, it explodes all over me.

So i basically have to drive the last 5 minutes with gooey slime all over my hands. And in typical fashion, I just cleaned my car, including the steering wheel, just last week. It's kind of a miracle I made the sharp turn onto my street --soooo slippery!


I also hit my arm and head on part of my car on two separate occasions. But that's just par for the course.


Post Script:
Later in the night I banged my head on the desk while trying to plug in the computer cable. Also while drivng home from dinner, I tried to freak out my spouse in retaliation to something stupid he was doing. I attempted to put the car in neutral and rev up the engine. It didn't really phase him so I re-enacted what i had tried to do with animated hand gestures. Of course I punched the steering wheel with full force and hurt my hand. My husband just laughed. And then I continued to drive home...with an extremely slippery steering wheel.

Preamble

Hello. My name is Melissa and I am a klutz. Thankfully, I think it's quite entertaining and don't get too upset about my little "problem."

I generally post my klutzy moments as facebook status updates and get lots of laughs. I was thinking about all the times I fell or did silly things in the recent weeks and thought it might be hilarious if I put them all together in one spot!

So if you want to keep your spirits up by hearing about me falling down the stairs, then falling up the stairs and then smashing my head into my own car trunk, this is the place for you!

Stay tuned...